The Art of Balance

As I may have mentioned once or twice, I do a vast amount of cooking in the World's Tiniest Kitchen. Just ask my husband, who is usually on dish duty- I'm pretty prolific. There's a lot of creative magic going on in there....along with plenty of reliance on old standbys and quick fixes when either inspiration or time are in short supply. Once you know the basics of what kinds of ingredients make a healthy, balanced, and wholesome meal, playing around with ingredients and combinations while using your imagination is, I believe, the best way to learn how to cook. It's how I learned, and it's still my favorite way to do things in the kitchen. However, no one can be a culinary wizard all the time, so it's important to have your kitchen set up in order to not only foster creativity but also to assist you in keeping things simple, easy, organized and accessible so that your cooking efforts can progress with ease- whether you're creating a new dish for the first time with wild abandon than knows no recipe, or recreating that same old favorite standby for the umpteenth time because it's healthy, easy, and you enjoy eating it every time.

Since my kitchen is about the size of the inside of a minivan (and that's being very generous), how I keep things organized and stored is absolutely crucial to my ability to cook balanced and interesting meals in anything resembling an orderly fashion. All it takes is one incidence of an open jar of tomato sauce crashing to the floor and splattering red goop all over every white wall and white appliance in sight to let you know that you cannot balance something too close to the edge of the top of the refrigerator, even if that was in fact the only spot of open space available. (Both my husband and I being over 6 feet tall helps our kitchen space situation- evidenced by how the top of the refrigerator is used regularly for extra prep and storage space). We've also learned the ingenuity of using the tops of the cabinets to store all of our pots and pans (again, see former discussion of height), which have to be placed in a certain particular order and stacking configuration in order for all of them to fit. Lastly, everything from the refrigerator shelves to every single cabinet is organized to best maximize the space we have- a place for everything, and everything in it's place, literally. I'm not saying it's perfect, and I'm not obsessive about it, but I've learned that balance is the key to keeping my kitchen in full swing and happy working order. With the significant space limitations we have and the amount of food shopping, cooking, and meal-brainstorming that I do, it simply does not work any other way.

One particularly demonstrative example is the small cabinet above our stove. It's awkwardly high and very small, and you have to reach over the stove hood to get to it- it is basically only suitable for two categories: things I need to grab at quickly and regularly while cooking (oils, pot holders, and flame deflector- very helpful when cooking your own beans and grains), and items that are removed and replaced often that don't quite fit in anywhere else (lunch tiffins, avocado saver, lemon juicer, mini grater- you realize everything does come in "mini" when you have a tiny kitchen!). This small, quirky storage space is essential for me because I use the items contained in it on a daily basis, and I need to be able to access them in an instant when moving swiftly through my morning cooking routine. However, as I mentioned, it's also small and therefore somewhat limited in how it can be organized, meaning that balance becomes a crucial element. Everything in there fits perfectly when each thing is more or less occupying it's given space. Because the space demands it, we purposely make an effort to keep it that way; it's not difficult to do, it just requires attention, and it makes everything work much more smoothly.

A few months ago, I started to notice here and there when I would reach up and into that mini cabinet that something was askew- nothing alarming, like finding a plastic baboon toy in the vegetable drawer (only those who are related to me by blood or marriage are familiar with that story), but more like finding the pot-holders tumbling over into the lunch containers, or the various kitchen implements sticking out at increasingly rakish angles, or the tea pot having a shoving contest with the french press. It was something I noticed vaguely each time, and it made things in there feel slightly disorderly and unsettled, which made my cooking routine just that slight bit more bumpy and disheveled, but by such a small fraction that I didn't take the time to correct it. It doesn't matter, I thought each time. It won't make a difference if I let that one thing come a bit undone.

Until one morning....

I came happily and sleepily into the kitchen to begin cooking my husband's lunch, which required reaching into that mischievous little cabinet above the stove. No sooner had I opened the tiny doors than suddenly I was at the bottom of a veritable avalanche of stainless steel tiffins clanging down on me, glass beverage carafes tumbling down on all sides and threatening to burst into shards around me, and all manner of non-threatening rubber fruit and vegetable shaped tools bouncing off of my head. I looked like a character in a slapstick routine who haphazardly contorts their arms and legs and chin to collect every falling object in some desperate attempt to retain order. Not, shall we say, the most relaxing way to wake up.

Bit by bit, with my noticing it but not acting on it, our mini cabinet up high- the happy and cozy resting place of so many of my daily cooking helpers- had become profoundly unbalanced. Each individual shift into this unbalanced state was perceived at the time as singular and insignificant; an item slightly out of place, something falling over where previously something else had stood to support it, a lack of space for something that belonged there because something else had crept in and taken up residence. But these shifts weren't just singular, and they were far from insignificant. There was a process of unbalancing happening, one domino falling at a time, and I let myself ignore it and remain unaware of the signs even as the imbalance grew into a state of barely restrained chaos - it must have, because that final morning, all it had taken was one tiny shift (and who knows what that was?) to make every item within that space spring out at me in utter pandemonium.

You might think I'm being perhaps just slightly hyperbolic here. Just a touch dramatic? Fair enough, and I admit I do love when a story like this can be polished into a perfectly fitting metaphor, but in this case it's for very good reason- later that very day, I found myself pondering the story of the cabinet and its Jack-In-The-Box surprise for me. "What happened?" I pondered with amusement. "Was I really paying that little attention? No. It must have just happened slowly, one slip at a time." And I could not help but fall face first into a full blown realization about how that completely describes what happens to me when I let the things that center, balance, and sustain me slip away....out of focus, out of priority, out of the rotation, off the schedule. You know, we all do it...one thing at a time, we make little excuses about how we can't, shouldn't, won't have time to, are too tired to, or won't really be affected if we don't do that thing that we usually rely on to keep us feeling happy, grounded, taken care of and stable. But then it becomes a pattern of not doing it, it becomes the new norm, and it extends beyond just that thing, to that other thing, too. That other stabilizing, gratifying standby that we know will see us through, that we take for granted but deep down appreciate the value of....we let it go. Just this one time, and then we'll get back to it, right?

It all adds up. The skipped grounding and centering yoga class that we forfeited when we felt too busy with social obligations becomes two weeks away from the studio. The lunch prep ritual that saves money and provides healthy, tasty lunches gets pushed aside in favor of sleeping in those few more minutes and grabbing something quick but costly and less nutritious at the deli. The head-clearing, body boosting walk or run outside gets traded in for running around on errands, cramming in more and more to-do's that never seem to get done. The hour of reading before bed that we know helps us to turn off the activity of the day and prepare for rest becomes the hour for catching up on any last emails and doing dishes or laundry that didn't get done because we were....wait, what were we doing? Before we know it, we're unbalanced. And unbalanced is not a nice, healthy, happy, or stable place to be. It's feels like metal lunch containers and rubber lemons bouncing off of your head in every direction.

It happens to all of us, and after the morning of the kitchen mini-avalanche, I took that as an opportunity to revisit my own commitment to the practices and elements that keep me organized, grounded, stable, calm and peaceful, not to mention happy and joyful in life. It's a check-in we all need to do on a regular basis. I'm talking about both the big and the small things here, because they're equally important. The practices and rituals we engage in on a daily basis to keep us feeling like ourselves and to keep our lives operating the way we want them to are just as elemental to our overall well being as the larger scale choices and that support our long term initiatives and goals for what we want out of our lives. When we begin to ignore our own needs here and there, or make excuses about de-prioritizing the habits and practices that keep us feeling happy and taken care of, we slip out of balance...slowly at first, until suddenly things seem to crumble around us all at once. Therefore, in order to exist peacefully, happily, and healthfully, we have to maintain our balance by taking care to prioritize our needs each day and also to notice when we've begun to stray from ourselves so that we can come back to balance. That can mean different things for each of us, so what does that mean for you? What area of your own self-care have you been subtly paying less and less attention to lately? Exercising? Alone time? Shopping for and preparing healthy food? Engaging in nourishing hobbies? What warning sign, either physical, emotional, or mental, have you been stubbornly ignoring? And can you see how letting go of or neglecting to implement rituals and practices just for you in your daily life is pulling you further and further away from where you want to be? Be brave and take a look...you may be surprised.

The good news is, just as imbalance can be arrived at bit by bit, so can balance be restored- one thing at a time. Our choices create a cyclical effect, and we can decide what we want to receive as the result of our actions. Look around and inside of you to find out what elements are keeping you off balance- is it an unhealthy habit or choice pattern that needs to be bidden farewell? Or a healthy one that needs to shift back into your schedule?- and address just one thing first. It doesn't have to be a radical shift, just an intentional one. Make a commitment to yourself that you will do this thing, just for you. Because you know it benefits you, and because you believe you deserve it. Once that feels comfortable and consistent, add in another, one step at a time. Think of it as building a foundation under a house- you build the most important support beams first, and then you build around them to create a structure that will hold up the entire house, come what may. Decide what is currently missing from your routine that keeps you feeling grounded, rested, flexible and happy, and start to implement those practices one by one- until you've built a foundation that can support you through anything that comes along!


Interested in finding out more about what foods are right for your own body and why? Looking for personalized information and support to help you change your eating and lifestyle choices in order to achieve your own specific goals for health and wellness? Contact me to set up a consultation: erica@wellnessrealized.com

Health: It's In Your Hands

Hi everyone!

It's been a busy few weeks here at WR, and it seems I have been absent from the blog for a while- but I'm back! With the return of Spring, it's a perfect time to refocus our efforts at staying balanced, healthy, and feeling great, and that means acknowledging how much that state of balance, health and happiness depends on our own conscious choices, practices, and patterns in our everyday lives. It isn't something that anyone else can do for us or force us to do. Our wellness is created by the choices we make in our lives: choices about how and where we spend our time and with whom, and choices about how we listen to and interpret the needs of our bodies; how we feed them, move them, and heal them when they are hurting.

We are the creators of our state of health and well being, and we have the power to recreate it and heal the areas that are hurting every day. Yet, so many of us shirk that responsibility, feeling that we aren't truly capable of taking care of ourselves in the ways needed to assure health and wellness; that it's too complicated, expensive, and too much work to take charge of our own well being. So we wait for someone else to tell us how to live, for an expert to confirm if what our intuition and common sense tells us is right, or in many cases, we just wait until a problem escalates and then expect a doctor to come in and fix, heal, and cure problems when we experience them. There is nothing wrong with seeking the help and advice of health professionals and doctors when we need information, support, and intervention when it comes to the healing of or dealing with a health related condition, but it is essential for us to realize that the true reality of our state of health comes down to what we choose to do, in our own time, in our own homes, with our own friends and families, on a daily basis, to take care of ourselves.

No matter how valiant the effort or how skilled and renowned a doctor or hospital is, we have to acknowledge that there is a limit to what medical intervention can do in the prevention and management of today's widespread health problems such as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease, as discussed in this New York Times Well Blog post on When Home Life Trumps Health Care, simply because of the fact that what we do when we go home on a daily basis is what creates the ongoing state of health or illness in our bodies, and those choices cannot be forced or even overseen by our doctors- it's in our own hands. Doctors and hospitals can surely help you immensely and even save your life, but when you go home and go back to your own daily routine, it's up to you to make the decisions and choices that are going to bring you health and wellness in the long haul.

And what about the other experts? Well, as I know all too well from the understandably confused and frustrated first-time clients who come into my office and from my own time spent in the field, there are a LOT of conflicting opinions out there, and a lot of just plan bad information. My best advice? First, tune in to yourself: become focused and quiet, and ask yourself, right now, what you feel that you need in order order to bring more health and balance into your life. Do you need to be eating more vegetables and less fast food? Drinking less alcohol and more water? Do you need to be working fewer late nights and finding some more alone time for relaxation? Do you need to learn how to cook healthy, simple meals for yourself or your family? Do you need to take up a regular exercise routine? Do you need to learn how to food shop in a way that is inexpensive but still health-supportive and convenient? Do you need to begin to make and bring lunch to work in order to maintain energy throughout the day while also cutting expensive and unhealthy lunches out?

Then, ask yourself what supportive choices you need to be making in order to create that reality and actually make it real. Do you need to schedule in time in your weekly calendar to make planned food shopping trips so that your kitchen can be stocked for easy meal prep? Do you need to plan some social activities that revolve around something other than drinking and eating out? Do you need to enlist the help of someone to teach you how to shop for, prepare, and cook food that will be healthy and supportive for you while not breaking the bank or taking up all of your time? Do you need to re-organize your free time to include less procrastinating online and TV watching and more time enjoying of activities that bring you both joy and benefit to your emotional and physical health? Do you need to treat time to cook and eat as importantly as you treat your other obligations? Do you need to discover and implement, once and for all, an approach to eating and exercise that feels so natural and comfortable for you that you actually stick with it? It isn't as elusive as it sometimes seems, I promise- the key to maintaining health and wellness is answering the above questions for yourself with honesty, accepting your own responsibility in creating your state of health, and then making the choices, decisions, and rituals that ill support and sustain your own approach to health and wellness.

So, now what? Where do you go from here if you've answered the above questions and realized that between all of the conflicting advice out there and your own personal circumstances and challenges, you could really use some good solid information and some help in making these supportive choices and practices to create a new state of health and wellness? You'll need to call on someone to help and guide you that intuitively feels right to you; someone who provides you with the accountability that will help you in achieving your desired goals but who also possesses the awareness that your health, your body, and your wellness are ultimately your own creation- someone who will teach you a new way to live so that you can take care of yourself forever, rather than relying on an external system or person that ultimately cannot create or sustain your health and wellness for you. We all benefit immensely from help, support, information, tips, tools, and guidance, and those resources are available from professionals such as myself and many others who provide our clients with the beginning of a new relationship with health and wellness. The help obtained from these resources, however, can only be realized to its full potential when we are taking responsibility for how we live our own lives once we go home, and that means taking the initiative and prioritizing our needs for what will balance and sustain our state of well being.

If you realize that you have become an inactive participant or even just an onlooker in your health and wellness care (or lack thereof), it's time to take it back. I can tell you from plenty of professional and personal experience that it is what we do in day to day life, the choices we make for our own bodies, hearts, and minds, that creates wellness. It is what and how we eat, it is when and how we make time for ourselves to relax and unwind, it is if and how we express our emotions, how much we joyously move our bodies, and especially how we listen to our bodies when they are alerting us to something that is wrong and act accordingly. Pain , illness, disease and discomfort are all signals from the body that it is time to pay attention and make a change, and time to take action to bring back balance- we have the power in our own hands to do so. I am here to help you with ongoing information, support, and practical and natural tools for optimal nutrition and wellness according to your own unique needs, and will do so in a way that grows and fosters your ability to truly take care of yourself in your own life and by your own hands...please contact me at erica@wellnessrealized.com if you are interested in my help.

Your health is in your own hands: Hold onto it!


Interested in finding out more about what foods are right for your own body and why? Looking for personalized information and support to help you change your eating and lifestyle choices in order to achieve your own specific goals for health and wellness? Contact me to set up a consultation: erica@wellnessrealized.com

"Table for One" : The Art of Eating, Alone

These days, with our busy ever-shifting schedules and jam-packed work days, many of us eat at least one meal a day alone- often two. Many of these meals are eaten in the office or workplace, and some of them are eaten at home or in a restaurant of sorts. Even if we live with others or with families, we often don't eat all of our meals with them, either because we don't feel inclined to or because we are all feeling pulled in different directions by our schedules and obligations. Stop for a moment and consider how often you eat alone, and then ask yourself- how you are using that time?

The temptation when eating alone is to immediately seek distraction in the form of something "to do". Because we can't just sit there, eating, ALONE...right? We'll often look for something to read or flip through, something to entertain us and either engage our brains or shut them off such as email, Facebook, blogs online, magazines, or even paperwork for our jobs. If we're at home, we'll often plop down in front of the TV to distract ourselves with whatever shows are on, zoning out as we chew and swallow. What about when we're eating alone in a restaurant without a TV or computer or book nearby? Out comes the cell phone or PDA for some texting or internet surfing, or we dig around for something....ANYTHING....to distract ourselves with. And usually, we gobble down these alone meals fairly quickly, because it's not like it's worth spending any time on a simple old everyday meal just for us, right?

But what are we hiding and rushing away from? Is it that uncomfortable to simply sit, alone, and eat our food? Is it that preposterous to let our meal itself, and the act of enjoying it and receiving it, be all the stimulation we need? Well, yes, it can be that uncomfortable and seem odd....at first. That's because we aren't used to it, and we are no longer conditioned to view the art of eating as something intimate, pleasureable, and worthy of our full attention, especially when we are eating alone. Why shouldn't you get just as much enjoyment, pleasure, and relaxation out of a meal eaten alone as you do when dining with others or when celebrating a special occasion? Eating is about nourishment including but not limited to the food itself, and in order to get the most out of your meals both physically and emotionally, you need to honor your meal times as a special time in your day for relaxation, reflection, and pleasure; even when eating alone.

It's a well known fact that rushing through a meal by hastily chewing and gulping down your food results in discomfort, gas, bloating, and acid indigestion. But many people aren't aware that this rushed approach to eating actually hinders your ability to digest your food, assimilate your nutrients, and maintain an efficient metabolism. When we're eating fast, the digestive system does not have time to adequately and effectively process what we are taking in so we miss crucial steps of the digestion and assimilation cycle, meanwhile the body receives the message that we are in a state of stress or emergency and responds by releasing stress hormones that trigger a "fight or flight" response, causing the body to pause the metabolism of energy to focus on the "emergency" at hand. That's right: eating fast--> lack of digestion and assimilation --> stress response --> the shut-down of calorie and fat burning.

When we eat in a distracted state, there is a similar effect: our bodies and minds are so interwoven that when we are mentally focusing on something other than the art of eating what is in front of us, our bodies lose focus on the act of digesting, assimilating, and metabolizing our food. While we may think we are master multi-taskers, the fact is that you can't be working on a report on your computer while absent mindedly munching on a sandwich and getting the same level of benefit from that sandwich in terms of digestion and satisfaction as you would if you were eating it slowly and paying attention to the fact that this is your time to refuel, and that it in and of itself deserves to be a priority. When we don't give ourselves the space and attention to emotionally and mentally engage fully with the act of eating, we miss out on a crucial part of the eating experience both physically and emotionally and thus wind up unsatisfied, tired, groggy, and feeling deprived of true enjoyment of our food, resulting in everything from overeating to cravings for sweets and stimulants to an overall disillusion with the pleasure of eating.

There are two parts to the nourishment picture: the nutrients and energy in our food that are absorbed into our bodies, and the emotional and mental satisfaction that comes from deriving pleasure and sensation from the act of eating. Make no mistake: both parts are equally important and both play an equal role in balancing health, weight, and fitness. In truth, they are two parts of a whole: nourishment is not only physical or emotional/mental; it's both, and you can't ignore one or the other. If you're having trouble losing weight or maintaining your energy or you just don't feel well after you eat, ask yourself how you eat as well as what you eat. Whether you are eating by yourself or in a group, focus on actually eating your food and let yourself pay attention and enjoy it. Don't succumb to the temptation to rush through or distract yourself. You do deserve to take your time, relax, chew and swallow, and derive real pleasure from your meal.... every meal... whether you're eating alone or in the company of others. Not only do you deserve it, but you need it in order to effectively digest your food and feel truly satisfied with your experience of eating.

So how about some tips for how to make meal time sacred, relaxed and enjoyable, even when dining alone?

At home:

- Sit at at the table, not on the couch. This is a real meal like any other, even though you're alone. You don't need the TV or computer for company, you can be your own company.

- Make use of simple things that signify "dining" or "special" or "relaxation", such as a cloth napkin, a fancy glass for water, a lit candle, or some background music that makes you happy or relaxed. You may be thinking how silly it sounds, but trust me: creating the environment makes a big difference.

- Say a word of thanks before your meal. This does not have to be a prayer or anything religious. Simply having a moment of gratitude before you receive a gift to yourself puts you in the prime place for effectively using and appreciating that gift.

- Practice getting to know the food that is in front of you. Notice the sight, taste, texture, smell of your food as you are eating. This awareness is very significant to your enjoyment of and therefore satisfaction from and digestion of the meal. As my husband heard somewhere, "you take the first bite with your eyes". Or your nose, or your fingers. Engage in your eating and you'll get so much more from it!

-Breathe. This is so important. Taking deep breaths instantly slows us down, calms us within, and sends the message to the body that there is no emergency and therefore no need to tense up and pause metabolism, not to mention that adequate oxygen is essential for digestion and all other bodily processes.

In The Office or Workplace:

- If you can, leave your work area and take your meal to a common area like a lounge or even better to a park or bench outside, weather permitting. The idea is to get some separation (mentally and physically) from your work space if possible, so that you can focus on your meal.

- If you have to eat at your desk or in your office, pull a chair over to the window if you have one, or at the very least turn away from your computer and resolve to not check email, answer phones, or look through papers during your meal.

- Set aside a minimum of 20 to 30 minutes to eat your meal, and ask that anyone coming in to talk to you about work matters comes back when you're finished. You may feel uncomfortable requesting this, but think about what you're asking: a small window of time to engage in and enjoy one of the ONLY essential things we all NEED to do every day. In that context, it's not too much to ask.


As someone who works mostly from home and generally eats two of my three meals a day alone, I find that some of my best ideas, introspective insights, and refreshing periods of calm come during my meals alone. I have come to value those mealtimes as much as I do eating out with others or having a special meal with my husband. Eating is about fun, pleasure, joy, and sensuality, and you deserve to experience that regardless of the situation. Yes, it does take practice, and commitment, and there are times when it would be easier or more convenient to just grab and go, but that's not what your body wants or what your soul needs, and it isn't going to allow you to lose weight, increase your energy, feel better in your body, and just enjoy yourself. Think about it....we all love to eat, so why not give it the sweet spotlight, even when you're by yourself?